


Hobbies

by fadedink



Series: Days of Christmas - 2012 [15]
Category: RocknRolla (2008)
Genre: Bets, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2017-11-21 05:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedink/pseuds/fadedink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Wild Bunch can never seem to hold on to their money.  Not even amongst themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hobbies

**Author's Note:**

> The 'fifteenth day of Christmas' for [afra_schatz](http://afra_schatz.livejournal.com), because she gives good prompt. ;)

"What are those?"

"Pez dispensers," Mumbles replied, not even looking up from where he sat on the floor, helping Bob sort through a pile of plastic dispensers.

"I know _what_ they are," One Two said, just resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "I meant why."

"Then you should say what you mean," Mumbles said. He still hadn't looked up, just calmly went on sorting dispensers into various piles.

"Why what?" Bob asked. He glanced up, then went right back to his sorting.

"Why are they here?" One Two dropped onto the sofa and watched them, fascinated. "And where did you get them?"

"I bought them," Bob said. He kept sorting, making a quiet, happy sound as he picked up one and examined it. "And Mumbles is helping me sort them."

"You bought them."

"What I said, innit?"

" _Why_ did you buy them?" Honestly, sometimes One Two felt he wasn't speaking quite the same language as Bob. Or Mumbles.

"'Cause I wanted them."

"All of them? How many are there?"

"Dunno yet," Bob said, as Mumbles kept sorting. "Reckon we're not finished going through them yet, are we?"

"How much?"

"I just said --"

"No, Bob, I meant how much did you pay for the lot?"

Bob just ducked his head and reached for another dispenser. Then Mumbles rattled off a figure that made One Two's eyebrows shoot up so fast they were in danger of flying off his forehead. One Two cleared his throat. "You spent..."

"Shut it," Bob growled, not looking up. "My money."

"True," One Two conceded, shaking his head. "Still though, that's got to be the stupidest way of blowing money I've ever heard."

"It beats spending all my money on birds what won't give me the time of day once I stop spending," Bob said, sharing a sly grin with Mumbles.

"Well, you don't like birds, do you," One Two pointed out, feeling the sting of Bob's words just a little.

"Not the point."

"And what is?"

"Better idea to spend my money on these," Bob said, holding up a dispenser and waving it in One Two's direction, "than on sex with people whose names I can never remember."

"I remember them," One Two said, indignant. "Most of them. Alright, some of them."

"I rest my case."

"Besides," Mumbles broke in, still steadily sorting, "it's not like you really _enjoy_ the sex."

"I... What?" One Two stared at him like he'd lost his mind. Which, with Mumbles, probably wasn't that far from the truth, not when he'd apparently been hanging out with Bob all day. "I like sex just fine!"

"Not as much as you could," Mumbles said, and honestly, One Two had no idea what Mumbles was on about. "I mean, it could be any _body_ and you'd probably like it just as much."

One Two gave him a suspicious look that switched to Bob when he let out a muffled snicker. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said."

"So...you're saying I could go out and get it from anyone and it would be --"

"Sure, why not," Mumbles shrugged. "Take Bob here. I bet he could give you a bit of a blow job and you'd never know it was a guy and not a bird."

"I'd know," One Two said, then realized how that sounded. "I mean, it's Bob! He's a bloke. With stubble."

"I could shave," Bob offered, grinning wide when One Two glared at him.

"I've got twenty large says you wouldn't know the difference."

"It's Bob!"

"So we bring a bird in, blindfold you, then see if you know which is which."

"You're out of your fucking mind," One Two sputtered. Then, "twenty large?"

"That's right. You in?"

 

Later, when people complimented Mumbles on his new ride, he just smiled and said he owed it all to Bob's innumerable talents. Bob, for his part, just smiled and didn't say a word, not even when One Two would bluster and turn red before changing the subject.


End file.
